How Common Different Sexual Fantasies Are

When It Comes To Sexual Fantasies, What's 'Normal?'

Canadian researchers wanted to determine which sexual fantasies were the most common and rare in the population.

And if the success of the sex-dominating-submission (BDSM) sex drive novel, 50 Shades of Gray, was ultimately only a reflection of a fantasy fairly widespread in the population? This seems to indicate a Canadian study to appear in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, which relies on the testimony of 799 men and 717 women interviewed via the Internet.

Precisions above all that most sexologists clearly distinguish between fantasy scene and desire to act. We can imagine scenes or images to increase his excitement without the intention of realizing them. Because a fantasy is a perfectly controlled and directed mental representation, which is obviously not the case of a genuine sexual assault. Already in 2008, psychologists at the University of Texas, Joseph Critelli and Jenny Bivona, emphasized this fundamental nuance by revealing that “31% to 57% of women had fantasies of rape and that these were common, even the fantasy number one from 9% to 17% “of them, while no one wants to be raped in real life and no one has ever described a sexual assault as exciting. Also signifies that the imaginary cares very little of social conventions or even of simple rationality.

Convergences and differences between men and women

For the Canadian study, researchers asked participants to rate the intensity of their interest in 55 sexual fantasies from 1 to 7, with 1 being “no interest” and 7 being “very interested”. The most popular fantasies among men are: feeling love emotions during sexual intercourse (88%), oral sex or cunnilingus (87%), participating in a trio with two women (84%). The first two fantasies are also very present in women: respectively 92% and 78%, but the trio with two women exists only for 36% of women and the trio with two men for 30% (against 45% of men !).

For women, in second place behind “feeling romantic emotions during a sexual relationship”, come the fantasies in which the atmosphere or the place take an important place (86%). Unsurprisingly, having sex in a romantic place such as a deserted beach is common (84% of women and 78% of men).

But the most surprising in this study is the highlighting that fantasies of submission, more readily attributed to women, are actually very common also among men. As they are also more present in those who have many fantasies, it could only be a reflection of a greater erotic imagination, say the researchers.

Rare fantasies, not so rare

The other lesson is the much higher than expected frequency of sexual fantasies considered rare or unusual, both for men and women, such as urinating on one’s partner, wearing opposite-sex clothing while in love or doing love with a prostitute. Of the 55 fantasies listed by the researchers, there are finally only two (pedophilia and zoophilia) that are rare (frequency less than 2.3%).

Of course, there are obvious biases of representativeness since the study is conducted via the Internet. The authors note, for example, the under-representation of the over-55s and also highlight an openness to sexuality that is often more important for participants in this type of sexuality survey. However, the answers, reinforced by anonymity, are accepted as valid provided they are not extrapolated automatically to the entire population.